Week Two Blog Two- Reading Continued... Thoughts expounded...

What would have to change for me to be completely fulfilled?

This is a deep question. One that I do not know if I should apply to all aspects of my life when reflecting on this question in this public forum: the blog. Therefore, I will only apply it to my time here at Full Sail University. The premise behind going after this degree was probably not as thought out as it should have been. I acted on impulse, to the tune of many thousands of dollars. I began to regret the decision, the time spent in the program.
But I also noticed something else about myself in this process, and just recently had the following revelation: I apparently have a fear of success. I know you are just clamoring for me to elaborate, so fear not, I will.
I first started college in 1994, and that lasted until 1996 when I used the excuse of the death of my dad to quit school at Stetson University. I had my daughter in 1998 and decided in 1999, that I had better go back to school. So I was in school from 1999 until the end of 2001. After that I had three credit hours to go, one class I needed to finish in order to have my BA. It took me four years to final get it done. So in 2005, I finally graduated. Many of my jobs were not able to hold my attention, so I simply quit or did something to jeopardize my position within the company. Once being looked at for promotions could quickly dissipate into barely being able to maintain the job.
So one thing I must change in order to be completely fulfilled is the acceptance of my success. It’s okay to want to achieve bigger and better things and to not penalize myself and holding myself to other’s ideas of what I should be.



“Imagine a world where a single raspberry is your only possession and you give it to a friend.”

Guerda Weissman Klein~ Auschwitz Survivor

Who in America can really say that they would be willing to give their only tiny possession to a mere friend? Not I… The depravity of the situation would seem to bring forth the beast, not the lamb. Isle, Guerda’s friend, must have been a truly selfless person. What more can be said about a person who even would consider this a possibility.



“Today was exceptional in that I learned leadership is not a responsibility- nobody has to lead. It’s a gift, shining silver, that reminds people huddled nearby why each shimmering moment matters. It’s in the eyes, the voice, this swelling song that warms up from the toes and tingles with endless possibilities. Things change when you care enough to grab whatever you love, and give it everything. )(Amanda Burr) (p.74)

Week Two Blog One- Reading- Thoughts on my favorite passages...

1.     Declare yourself to be a contribution.

2.     Throw yourself into life as someone who makes a difference, accepting that you may not understand how or why.  (p. 59)

The idea of asserting that you are in fact contributing to the lives of those around you in a positive manner washes away the fear of failure. The applicability of this concept to us as Master’s students is compounding daily. I just have to keep reminding myself that I am making a difference in my student’s lives and that seeking this degree has positively impacted my teaching style. I cannot get bogged down in the financial aspect of this and know that because I am actively seeking to contribute positively in life, the purpose will become clearer as I continue to strive to better myself. 

Zander’s father is quoted as saying, “I discovered a person cannot live a full life under the shadow of bitterness. (p. 64)

This statement resonates with me more than anything I have read in years. I often see my life as a series of failures, rather than acknowledging the growth and progress made in who I am as a person. Living under the shadow of bitterness from decisions made when I was younger still plaque my ability to “let it go”.   Recognizing that I cannot enjoy my life as I should until I find a way “give myself an A” and admit that I am doing the best that I can, has been an eye opening revelation. I do not have to compare myself to other people in the program, because I am doing the best that I can within my circumstances.

Don’t take yourself so serious! Remember Rule Six!!  (p. 79)

This is going to be my new mantra for the people in my life that I love that freak out over the smallest things and truly sweat the small stuff. However, I will acknowledge that there are many moments in my own life when I will need to apply this to myself at that moment. What exactly am I referencing you may be wondering. I know I seem so calm and even-keeled; however, those who really know me would attest to that statement. Example: I can lose it so quickly over my daughter pouting a little too hard because she didn’t get her white leggings, since the store only had black. And I mean lose it!

When I should be saying, “Really? Donya, really? Do not take yourself so seriously! Remember Rule Six!”

Thos I love sometimes need to hear that the thing they are currently stressing themselves and you over really isn’t that big of a deal. But how do you do that effectively without hurting the person’s feelings?

Example: I have a friend who feels like its her job to change the structure of the current city policy on that refuses to allow restaurants to have an outdoor seating area that is not covered. While I agree with her and stand with her when I can, she takes it absolutely personal when I don’t attend a meeting she asks me to come to last minute, expecting me to change my plans to go. Or there have been times when I’ve tried to help out and she has snapped at me because I haven’t done enough. How do I address this and help her understand hoe to apply Rule Six to her own life? 

Zander, R.S., & Zander, B. (2000). The art of possibility. Harvard Business School Press. 

Week One Blog 5- Wimba

Week One Wimba was informative, as far expectations, and deadlines. The last three months I have struggled with the deadlines, making most of them and working hard to maintain my A average.  It really help me put in perspective how far behind I really am. LoL

The idea of the impact we as Master's students at Full Sail, could really have an impact on education around the world, was really eye opening. There are so many amazingly talented people in this program, and I often wonder what they are going to do with this degree. I hope that I am able to see where they go with this in the future!

Week One Blog 4- Response to Gary Milton

You are right. It really does take time to cultivate those types of relationships with our students. I am now at the point where the students see that I care regardless of what their final grade is. I am at the point where I see them caring about their product because they care what I think. I am at the point in the year where they truly begin to appreciate all that we have done throughout the year to make learning an interactive, hands-on experience. These are the moments that propel me to keep on trying, keep on pushing to inspire them as well as myself, keep on forging and developing a relationship of mutual respect.

I have also been trying to apply the "Giving an A" philosophy with my students, but also with my husband and daughter. I have to learn to accept that if people are doing their best then I cannot ask more of them. I agree with your statement that the comprehension of the points from the book can truly be the opening to the change that occurs when we begin to take people as they are, allowing them to truly flourish in a comfortable, non-judgmental environment.

Week One Blog 3- Response to Hardy Reeves

Hardy said:

Week 1 (two weeks YAY!!) was really an interesting start to this class.  It was really nice to have the time to start the class and then have Spring Break in the middle of it.  For overachievers like myself that meant I was able to go ahead and get started on the projects for each week, get them mapped out and completed.  At least that was my plan...that is until my wife let me know we were going to be using our Spring Break to Spring Clean and purge the house of all items we decide we no longer need.  So my days have been spent moving things around as best as possible (my back still hurts from a four year old using it as a trampoline and the very heavy plastic outlet safety covers) and then falling asleep early because of the honey do list that I was working on that day.

Looking back at the start of this class, I really was worried about the lack of clear due dates, but the email has really helped me out, a lot.  The previous courses with their “Honey Do List” style of check-offs really helped me focus on what was most important (what was due first) and what I had time to work on (the big projects at the end).  This helped me to create a timeline in my head and let my brain know what it needed to focus on and what could be processing in the background (it sounds weird, but that’s what really goes on in there).

With the email, I have now been able to clearly focus on what needs to be completed and with the Spring Cleaning finally completed - focus is now back on the classes at hand and what needs to be completed.

Concerns and Worries - I am so focused on the end goal that my worry is something will go wrong.  I have worked hard to keep the 4.0 GPA the entire year that I am so freaked out that something is going to happen that I won’t finish with the 4.0 or worse the dreaded, not feeling your ARP-Sorry.  The final interview is really weighing heavy on my mind knowing it is only a month and a half away.  The nervousness I feel comes from the not knowing-like what was talked about in Wimba-we’ve been working on these projects - getting good scores on our blogs and turning items in, but what if it’s not what someone wants...what happens then???

stress-just the added bonus of being a student...

My reply: I echo your frustration about the urgent need to prepare for all the faces us in the last few weeks of this program. However, unlike yourself, I find my motivation has all but turned completely off. I am trying desperately to revitalize my determination to be a success. I think part of the issue is the idea of the cost has finally hit me. "What did I do?" I silently wonder at times. I have most definitely benefited from this process; however, I hope that in the long run (or even better, short run) I will see the remuneration.

I have not enjoyed the open due date.  When its not spaced out, I don't see the end. I need the order of the due dates to propel my motivation. Sadly, the intrinsic desire to succeed is not strong enough to thrust me into gear.

Week One Blog 2- What to do?!

Have you ever started your day, passionate about the events that you were to face throughout the day? Things seem to go pretty smoothly; you get through most of the day. The morning flies by and you run to get lunch. When you get back in your car to return to work, the battery won't turn over. You try and try, to no avail. And finally, frustrated, you smack your hand on the wheel, take out your phone and call someone to rescue you. At this point, you want your day to be over. You ignore the work that otherwise would be your release, and relish the hand if the clock as it moves slowly towards the final moment when you can leave.

Well, this fairly well summarizes how I feel right now. I was moving along nicely, about to pull together all the loose strings of my ARP. That is until three weeks ago the hard drive I had moved all my massive files to, crashed. Now I feel like I am at a stand still because most of my articles were listed there, all my work from month one through nine, and a lot of stuff that I still needed to add to site. I am trying to find the motivation to pick back up and make this degree a reality. 

Week One Blog 1- Giving an A??

The idea of changing how you perceive and evaluate that, which could be construed as negative, open up the doors to revitalization and the development of renewed, invigorating hope. This speaks true to my current situation. Here I sit bemoaning the loss of my ten months of work, instead of realizing that there is a way out of this seemingly dreadful situation. The suggestion to have my external hard drive looked at has been made; everyone keeps telling me it is there, but that it just needs to be pulled off of there. I also could look into having my computer hard history pulled up. Either way, I have a guy who has offered to do it for me for free, pretty much. And here I am complaining that it hasn’t happened as of yet, because I need to finish my ARP website. Working within the confines of the issue rather than complaining about the confines of the issue.

Because of this dreadful situation, I almost gave up totally. I even let this class call to the wayside. But when I did finally tackle the reading, I was inspired to get this going again.

I can see the value in the giving an A philosophy; however, in the public school system, that is a dream, more than a possible reality. I wish that I could give out A’s with the assurance that my students would then be inspired to perform to their highest ability. Alas, that is not going to happen. But I plan on applying this concept loosely at the beginning of each year. Having my students right about themselves does nothing to motivate them, so this year I started by having each student set goals for their writing. At the beginning of this upcoming year, I plan on having students write to me, telling me how they have grown as a writer and personally this year.